Time To Potty Train

Noah is a couple of weeks shy of being two, but I am thinking that he might need to be potty trained.

The boy and his poop are completely getting in my way of peaceful days.

I was on the phone with Direct TV the other day, upstairs in my room, troubleshooting why our box kept freezing up and not working.  I left Noah downstairs, happily watching his beloved Super Why.  The next thing I know, he comes into the room, naked from the waist down, holding his diaper in his hand and saying, "Dirty."

While putting on my best pretend "everything is great" voice with the customer service rep, I quickly ran downstairs to grab the baby wipes.  By the time I got back upstairs, Noah was standing there, holding the actual chunk of poop in his hand, saying, "Hot."

Awesome.

Thankfully, at this point, I was on hold while the rep attempted to fix the problem with the tv.  We deposited the poop, washed our hands over and over and over again, and covered his naked butt with a new diaper.  While I waited for the rep to come back, I realized that she had hung up on me. 

I was later told that it was a mistake, but I beg to differ.  Pretty sure she heard part of Noah and I's discussion about his feces and ran for her life.

As if that was not bad enough, I was making dinner the next day and everyone came home from school.  At that same moment, Noah woke up from his nap and started talking.  He was only left to be awake by himself for about three minutes, but by the time Nick went in there, it was pretty ugly.

As my hands were mixing food together, I heard Nick groan with shock and disgust.  Apparently, our little prince had taken off his poopy diaper and had taken the poop out so that he could throw it away. 

Use your imagination to picture what that would have looked like.

Nick put him directly into the bathtub while I finished preparing our food.  I mean, really, did anyone want me cleaning up the Noah mess while making dinner?  I eventually threw the sheet, the blankets, the pillow case, the lovey and his clothes into the wash, as they were all victims of the poop.

Okay, Noah, we are taking the hint.  You want to start using the potty.  Please stop sending these type of signs.  We just cannot take them anymore.

My 35th Birthday

I have a very sweet husband.

The day before my 35th birthday, he arranged to go hiking with the four of us (no Noah-sorry buddy, did not feel like carrying you and fishing you out of every pond that you most certainly would fall into)...on a Sunday afternoon...during the Bengals game.

Gasp.

Okay, so we have a DVR and it is a lovely thing.  But, still, my husband has come a looooong way.  This never would have happened a few years ago.  Heck, even last year.

We had a lovely time and I loved our time in the fresh air, in nature, with two kids and a husband who made me believe they loved it, too. 

Favorite line of the day, by Caleb:  "Wow, this is a lot of walking!  It's like walking at King's Island, but there are never any rides, just more walking!"

We went out to eat that night with family and I chose Max and Erma's, simply because they bring you warm chocolate chip cookies for free on your birthday.  Between the eight free cookies (yes, I shared...some) and the delicious pretzel appetizer (um, I think I ate an actual meal somewhere in there, but all I remember are the pretzels and the cookies), it was a lovely evening.

I figured Nick was done, since my actual birthday was on a Monday, in which real life came back.  School, carpool, cleaning, work, soccer, golf...

However, he had yet another plan.

He canceled his golf practice and brought the kids home from school.  He kept texting me while at school, telling me to go get a massage.  The poor guy just does not understand the concept of needing to book an appointment way in advance for such a thing.  I came to realize that he was trying to get me out of the house because he had invited a few friends over to surprise me.

Such a sweet idea.  There were a few hick-ups in the plan.

#1-I had already put dinner in the crockpot for dinner, along with making pepperoni puffs.  I had even texted him earlier in the day saying what I was making (just hinting to see if I was really expected to cook dinner on my birthday) and he said that was fine.  Actually, he only saw the words "pepperoni puffs" and thought, "Great!  Our guests can eat them!"

#2-The house was still in disrray from the weekend.  Every mom knows that when everyone is home for the weekend, the house quickly falls apart.  Once they all head back to school and work, Monday is recovery day.

#3-Because I usually host the parties while Nick enjoys them, there were no party food preparations on hand.

You know what?  Who cares?  My husband just invited some friends over to celebrate me and it was a very sweet idea.  And all of those "problems" listed above had solutions.

#1-I put dinner in the fridge and we ate it the next day.  And the pepperoni puffs were a hit and were quickly eaten up by our guests.

#2-Everyone that came over has been in my house enough to have seen it at its worst.  And they all brought kids who further destroyed it anyway.

#3-The boys made a beer run, my neighbor brought over some wine, Nick bought a cake and ice cream and we all survived.

It was a lovely time of turning 35, an age that I was really not looking forward to.  There is something about that number 35 and how close it is to 40...

Enough about the age-I have an amazing husband and three pretty awesome kids.  And I still feel 22 in my heart.  Looking forward to what this coming year brings.

A Moment To Brag

Okay, so I am going to be one of those moms today.  The ones who write about how amazing their children are and how proud of them they are.

I figured since I usually write about the fighting, whining, messes and bowel movements, I can take a day and brag about the good stuff.

I will start with Abby.  Sweet, perfectionist Abby.  She is now in 2nd grade (which still floors me) and is loving school.  She is part of the top 20 of 2nd grade to make it into math enrichment.  While part of me wonders why there should be a top 20 of a class in math in SECOND GRADE, the other part of me is super proud of her and happy that she is happy.  Clearly, her excitement over this comes from her dad because her mom is NOT a math person.

Next we have Caleb.  Sweet, perfectionist Caleb. 

Wait, isn't that how I described Abby?  Hmm.

Caleb is in kindergarten and went into it already reading.  Because of that, he gets to go to reading enrichment, which he thinks is pretty cool.  When his teacher asked him his sight words the week before school started, he knew all of them.  All of them.  His teacher was shocked and said, "Okay, start having him learn to spell them."  Which he also finds pretty cool.  Until he gets one wrong.

Let me take a minute and promise you all that I do not do anything to force reading on these kids.  True, Nick and I can both be found with a book in front of us quite often.  But, never have I made them sit down to read and forced learning on them.  They just love it.  Abby was an early reader and I think Caleb just wanted to keep up.

Now, we have Noah.  Let me start by saying that I am an awful mom to him.  While the older two were able to sit and read me with often and do art projects and color together, poor Noah is left to fend on his own.  I have two kids with homework and soccer practices and two direct sales jobs that keep me online and on the phone during the day. 

Yet, sweet Noah is turning out to be pretty smart.  He knows a lot of his letters and likes to read them every chance that he gets.  While I was wearing my "Love and be loved" t-shirt the other day (Music Camp people get that), he pointed at the correct letters and said, "O, E, B, D."

Um, what?  How did you learn that?

Oh, that's right.  Your favorite show is Super Why.  Where they look at letters the entire show.

Thank you PBS Kids.

Should I be concerned that my 23 month old is learning more from tv than from his mom?  I watched the show with him a couple of weeks ago and when they asked which word was "soft," he actually pointed to it and knew which one.  Either this kid is a genuis or he has seen that particular episode before.

Most likely it was the latter.

Regardless, I am so glad that they all love to read.  When I check on them before I go to bed each night, I find all three of them passed out with a book near their head.  Awesome.

Okay, enough bragging.  I am sure with my next post I will bring my faithful readers more stories of fighting, whining, messes and bowel movements.

Not As I Do

Sometimes kids are a real pain in the rear to have around.

Wow, I am full of Mother of the Year comments this week.

I am just not thrilled with how they bring such accountability to my life.

For example, I was driving to our church plant meeting tonight, running late (because of blessed soccer games) and was driving a little fast.  Actually, I was stuck behind really slow drivers (you know, the kind who go a whole two miles an hour under the speed limit-I mean, come on-who does that?) and every chance that I got, I sped up.

At one point, while driving down what could be a really fun road if we were in the country (but, alas, we are in the suburbs) I had a breakaway.  Someone finally turned right and got out of my way!  I picked up speed, loving every bit of my one mile of freedom (until the next row of cars at the next red light), but then I heard Caleb.

I heard his little voice from the back seat say, "Mom, you are really speeding!  What's the speed limit here?"

My response was something along the lines of , "Oh, I don't know, and I'm only going fast for a short time and we are late and I have this hot dinner here in the car that gets colder by the minute and I don't want to get there so late that no one gets to eat it."

Seriously-I was trying to get to a church meeting!  That's a worthy excuse, right?

I followed up my lame excuses with, "But you guys will never drive like this someday-always obey the speed limit."

Do as I say and not as I do.

I think that just might be every adult's favorite line.

Do not speed.  Do not talk about people behind their backs.  Do not eat dessert before dinner.  Go to bed on time.  Do not stare at the computer/tv for so long.  Eat healthy.  Exercise.  Share.  Get along with your friends.  Be kind to your family.  Pray for your enemies. 

Shall I go on?

Those dang kids and their watching of our every move.  What the heck?  I want to do what I want to do without accountability.

Who knew they would be so much trouble?

Just Another Day

Take a seat everyone-here is another picture of the Rosenfeldt house on a typical evening...

I think I will start with the scene before everyone came home from school.  Noah had just woken up, I was finishing some online work and it was quite peaceful.

Then...

They came home.

As my carpool friend drove away, waving and saying, "Good luck!" I could tell that I was going to be in for it.  Abby and Caleb were in their typical end of the day moods, in which they decide to fight about everything.  Apparently, all of the good behavior that their teachers rave about has to burst at some point and so it does-at home.

After hearing Abby whine to Caleb about how he was in her way while she was trying to do cartwheels for the hundreth time, I finally said, "Abby-he knows he is getting to you.  Ignore him and he will find something else to do!"

She chose to ignore me instead.

While I prepared dinner, here is what I heard from the living room...

"Caleb-stop getting in my way!"
"Hee hee hee."
"Caleb-STOP IT!"
"Hee hee hee."
"Come on Caleb, get out of my way!"
"Hee hee hee."

I have to admit, at this point, I was laughing to myself, too.  I would gladly have gone in to break it up if she had just at least tried to listen to my advice.  Sorry, girlie, you thought you knew better.

As Noah stood near me in the kitchen, pointing at them and saying, "Uh oh," I listened as I heard the arguing get louder.  Eventually there were some fist poundings, but considering Caleb was still "hee hee heeing" through his beating, I figured they were fine.

I know-call me mom of the year.

As the screams grew louder, I finally gave in and went to break it up.  They were both in trouble, both separated and both left to pout on their own couches while I went back to making dinner.

You know, the dinner that I was preparing for my precious children.

When I had left the kitchen to break up the fight of my children, I had just taken a pot of boiling chicken off the stove and after emptying the chicken, I had left the dry pot on a cool burner.  When I went back to cooking, I needed to take dinner out of the oven and moved the pot to its former burner, which I figured was cool enough by then.

I served dinner to the kids, went to make my plate and noticed that the light was still lit on the stove, meaning that the burner was on.  In the chaos of my children, I had forgotten to turn off the burner and the completely empty pot was smoking.

Whoops.

At this point, all of my burners were in use or had just been used so I grabbed a pot holder, set it on the counter and placed the pot on it.

Not the smartest decision I have ever made in my life.

As I attempted to sit down for dinner, Caleb said, "Mom, that pan is still on fire."
I looked over and smoke was rising from under it.  As I picked it up, the potholder stuck to it and was completely black. 

The scene was complete with the most horrible smell I have ever smelled in my life.

No, it was not Noah's diaper.  It was the smell of the potholder burning on the pot.

Not exactly the best made potholder.

Finally got that all cleaned up and opened up every window around me (remembering, as I opened it, that there was still a rip in the screen of the kitchen window-please, come on in bugs), still attempted to sit down to eat my by then cold dinner and Caleb started asking for seconds.

After he received The Look from me and wised up, I ate a few bites, cleaned up Noah, got Abby motivated to get dressed for soocer and started cleaning up the kitchen.  Caleb, my beloved slowpoke when it comes to meals, was still eating and suddenly I heard, "Uh mom-it was an accident."

While part of me longed to jump out of the torn window, the part of me living in reality turned around and saw that his entire drink had spilled.  All over the table, the chair, the floor and into the slit of the table that holds the center extension part.

I kind of wanted to cry at this point.  I really wanted to yell.  But, those blasted windows were open and my neighbors all live inches away so I chose to quietly yell through gritted teeth.  For the first time in his life, Caleb noticed the mood of the room and left it.

As I grabbed towels and started to clean up the drink, I looked at Caleb and he was sitting on the couch, watching television.  In my anger, I said, "Caleb, stop watching tv!"  I looked over a second later and he was still sitting there, with his hands over his eyes.

I guess that was all he could do.  His mom was yelling at him to stay out of the kitchen and yelling at him to not watch what was going on in the next room.

Finally made it through his meal, rushed around to get Abby ready for soccer and my precious daughter, who is ALWAYS ready and listening comes downstairs without her socks, without her brush and without her rubber band.

Seriously, Abby?  You chose this night to walk around in la la land?

I took her next door to our neighbor who was awesome and offered to take her to practice and we were talking about how both of our girls have Wednesday night games this week.  I mentioned how the 5:30 game is really hard to get to, especially for people who work.  Abby chimed in and said, "Yeah, it's a good thing that you don't work, Mom."

Uh, what?

My neighbor heard her words and very quickly said, "Yeah, your mom takes care of you and your brothers and that's work."

Abby said, "Yeah, you know what I mean.  Like a real job that you go to and work at."

I reminded myself that she is seven years old, went inside and went back to my cooking.  Oh yes, more cooking to go.  My loving husband was hoping to have pepperoni puffs and buffalo chicken dip with chips for his Monday night football watching event.

I recently just started getting the smell of the burnt pan out of the house, thanks to open windows, lysol and a candle.  As I was sitting here typing this, I looked over at the buffalo chicken dip that I had pulled out of the oven and noticed that it was still bubbling.  I found that odd, since it should have been cooling.  Upon inspection, I realized that I had left a burner on and promptly placed the cooling dish on that burner.

I wish I was kidding.

Thankfully, I think I saved the requested meal.  Nick just gave me a look of, "What the heck are you doing?" and I almost decked him.  He, like Caleb, took the hint and went into the living room.

As I look back on my day of laundry, cooking, carpooling, errands, online work for Thirty-One and Mary Kay, changing diapers, planning stuff for American Heritage Girls, changing sheets, cleaning...I guess it is a good thing that I do not have a real job.

Noah Growing Up

I am so glad that Noah is finally finding ways to communicate besides screeching.

Don't get me wrong-the kid still likes to screech. 

But, thankfully, he is finally finding his words and telling us things.  I get to hear "drop" a lot, which is better than screeching.  And I hear "water" and "snack," which is better than screeching.  I also get to hear "done," which, again, is better than screeching.

Can you tell that I have slowly been losing it with the screeching?

Noah cracks me up.  He has started calling me, "Mom" instead of "Mama."  I think it is because he hears the older two call me that and he thinks he is pretty cool when he says it like them.  It was super cool to hear during our church plant meeting tonight.  We adults were sitting inside having our meeting while I could hear Noah outside the window, looking for me, saying, "mom, mom, mom" over and over again.

I should mention that we do have childcare and that he was not outside alone.

He is starting to become pretty independent.  He likes to get himself ready and help everyone else get ready by bringing them their shoes.  He gets in and out of seats alone, throws away his diapers, and reads himself books.

Okay, so maybe that last one is not quite true.  But, he is pretty content to look at books for a long time and I do hear him use his voice like he is reading.

My favorite thing is that he has completely mastered the stairs.  Well, he probably mastered them a long time ago, but I as the mom have finally reached the point where I do not fear for his life everytime that he goes up and down by himself.  I just took the baby gates down and even though I have some spackling and painting to do, it is a relief to have them out of the way.

Funny, but I still find myself extending my leg out as if I am stepping over the gate.  Someday that will pass, right?

As Noah approaches his second birthday, I am excited for him, but kind of sad to officially leave the baby phase.

Then I think of the screeching and the sadness just melts away.

The First Day Poem

For all of my friends sending their kids off to school this year, particularly the ones who are sending their kindergartener...

Caleb's teacher had the following poem handed to us as we left our little ones on the first day.

The First Day

 

I gave you a smile and said a prayer

As you entered my room today

For I know how hard it is to leave

And know your child must stay.

You've been with him for five years now

And have been a loving guide,

But now, alas, the time has come

To leave him at my side.

Just know that as you drive away

And tears down your cheeks may flow

I'll love him as I would my own

And help him learn and grow.

For as a parent, I too know

How quickly the years do pass

So please put your mind at ease

And cry those tears no more

For I will love him and take him in

When you leave him at my door.

 

I should mention that she had this poem in a bag with two Hershey's chocolate kisses and a couple of tissues.  Smart lady.

 

And thanks to that poem, I was using both.

Loving My Job

I am totally loving being a Thirty-One consultant.

Yes, this is another shameless plug kind of post.

I was hesitant about getting involved with it, since I already sell Mary Kay, but it has been nothing but a blessing since I signed on.

Because of the number of parties that I have had in less than 90 days, I have earned hundreds of dollars of free bags and purses and supplies.  All of which are great to show at parties, but of course I am using most of them for myself as well.

Apart from the free stuff (which is just plain awesome), I have an amazing group of women on our team to consult with for questions and ideas.  While we are all over the country, our little facebook group page has been wonderful.  I have felt such support and have been given such great ideas to help my business-simply a blessing.

Even Nick is coming around to this.  He is watching me actually make money and has been pleasantly surprised.

If any of my faithful readers out there (okay, so the women readers) are ever interested in joining our team, please let me know.  You get to spend time with women talking about bags-and you get paid to do it.  I know.  Fun job.