The Freedom

So...school started.

Noah is now in preschool five mornings a week.  Everyone told me that I would feel sad and would cry at the first drop off.

Um, I must be an awful mom considering I have yet to feel sad or cry.  Instead, I have felt freedom.

Yes, I admit, it was kind of strange to leave him the first day, but considering he just went in and could not care less that I was leaving, that kind of made it easier.  Apparently, I have raised a confident boy who feels safe and trusts that I will return, so that's something.

I think my feeling of freedom is bigger than my feeling of sadness because I have not experienced this freedom in TEN years.  Ten.  Years.  I am now going to the gym-alone.  To the post office-alone.  To the grocery store-alone. 

Oh, the grocery store.  I can now walk in, buy only what is on my list (including chocolate that NO ONE will know exists in the house but me) and not stop at the bakery for a cookie or ask the cashier for a sticker.  Do I want to use a regular cart?  A small cart?  Carry a basket?  Sure-does not matter because I am not pushing a huge cart that has a car at the front, that takes out customers left and right.

As someone who works from home, I am able to call customers and team members without a little (and loud) voice interrupting with comments like, "I pooped in my underwear, Mom."  I am finding myself more organized and doing things like cleaning the house and actually putting away a basket of clean laundry. 

While I am enjoying this new found freedom, I have to admit-the best part of my day is when I pick him up and he gives me that smile and runs into my arms.  I know it is a very short time when he thinks of me as his hero and runs to me with joy.  Perhaps the freedom we are both having is making us appreciate each other just a little bit more. 

The Summer Of Caleb

Um, yes-I am still here, raising my three crazy children.  I have all sorts of stories and thoughts to share with you all, but somehow never seemed to find the time to write it all down.  I could blame my lack of time on a busy summer, school starting up, and sports galore, but since I somehow found the time to watch the entire series of Chuck (love that show, by the way), my excuses are just not legit.

So, lots of fun stories from the summer, but a lot of it was all about Caleb.

It started in June, when he was complaining of side pain.  I took him to the pediatrician, concerned that it might be his appendix.  She thought it might be that, but was also worried about his kidneys and sent us to the ER at Children's.  HOURS later, they still could not figure out what was going on and admitted us at 1:00 a.m.

Yes-a.m.  Hours of being in the ER with a boy who felt terrible, with no idea of the cause.

Days and numerous tests later, they found out that he had a kidney infection.  The proper meds starting helping and he was finally able to go home.  We eventually learned that he had a blockage in his urethra, which caused the infection and which explained a lot of symptoms that he has had for years.  Apparently, he was born with the blockage and we are lucky to find it-some babies die before birth or right after because of this, so we are considering ourselves blessed to catch it when we did.

Flash forward to July and Caleb had his surgery to remove the blockage.  We were told it was an in and out procedure and that he would go home the same day.

Um, never believe that line.

His surgery went well, but then they decided to keep him overnight and take the tube out in the morning.

Sure-it's not like I was leaving the next morning for a conference or anything.  Oh wait-I was.

Thankfully, Nick was awesome and spent the night with him, family and friends came to the rescue with childcare and as I drove to Columbus for the conference, I received the best phone call ever-I was informed that Caleb peed and pooped and was allowed to leave the hospital.

If you are not a parent, let me explain that so much good news depends on your child's ability to have bowel movements.

Had the follow up in August and everything looks good.  He still has to follow up with the urologist for, well, forever, but thankfully all is well for now.

I learned three things from the summer of Caleb...

1-Child Life Specialists are the most amazing people in the world.  I love that job.  The specialist that we had was wonderful and kept Caleb at ease during the most awkward and uncomfortable procedures for a little boy.

2-The Ronald McDonald House is a huge blessing.  We did not stay there (as Children's was a half hour from our house), but after staying numerous nights in the hospital and paying for hospital food, I realized how awful that would be for people coming in from out of town.  I am so thankful to work for a company who supports the RM House.

3-We are not promised the next day.  My kids might all be healthy right now, but there is no guarantee that it will always be that way.  There is no "whew, we made it through the crucial time" with kids.  Every day that my kids wake up and live a healthy day is a blessing.

More to come on our summer that was not about Caleb (but, honestly, most of it did revolve around him) and what is going on this fall.  I promise to keep you all entertained with stories of my three crazy blessings.