An Ode to My Dad

I have been blessed with growing up in a Christian home by parents who never made me doubt their love for me. I could write pages on what an amazing mother I have, but in honor of Father's Day, today I am going to dedicate some words specifically to my dad.

When my mom met my dad, she was a single mom (for the very few of you who do not know that back story, it is a story of how amazing my mom is, saved for another time). They talked and talked the first time they met and were married within the year. The older I get, the more I am amazed at my dad. He loved my mom so much that his love extended to me and he took us both as his family. I believe after they were pronounced man and wife at their wedding, I said quite loudly, "Can I call him Daddy now?"

I legally became his within a short time, but was always his daughter from the beginning. He taught me how to ride a bike, how to drive a tractor during hay season, and played countless games of basketball with me. He built me a swingset, was the highlight of any birthday party (particularly when he bounced across the yard when the tire swing broke), and taught me to drive. He met my dates, gave me honest opinions on boyfriends and gave me away at my wedding. No matter the situation, he has stood by me and loved me.

My dad is the definition of a provider. As a farmer, the only days I can remember him being able to take off work were for our yearly day trips to the mountains, our graduations, my wedding day and the birth of my kids. He has a tough job, that gets harder each year. Yet, he consistently works hard and taught us the value of a dollar. I know the reason my brother and I are such hard workers and have always been reliable are because of him.

I know he does not always feel important and sometimes feels like he has wasted his life with farming. It is one of those professions that is easily taken for granted and never paid according to what it should be. However, I am grateful for the upbringing I had as a farmer's daughter. I learned not to take things for granted and have always had a love for the outdoors. And today, my kids love going to Grandpa's house and staying at the farm.

Happy Father's Day to a man who will never know how much he is truly valued by his little girl. Words can never express what he has done for his family and how much he is honored and loved.

Peer Pressure

Abby was playing in the sprinkler today with her neighbor, Trinity. Although my daughter has a very strong personality and knows what she wants, she tends to be a little tentative when trying new things. So while Trinity ran full force into the sprinkler and sometimes even stood on top of it, Abby was content to run around in circles and just get slightly wet. Trinity kept telling her, "Run right through it, Abby! Come on, it's more fun that just standing over there! Look how easy it is!"

I saw the look of mixed emotions on Abby's face. She was scared of running right into the sprinkler, yet felt like she should listen to her friend. Finally, she said loudly, "I'm just not ready, yet. I have to get used to the sprinkler first."

I know it's such a small thing, but I was so proud of her for not giving into her first moment of peer pressure. Don't get me wrong-there are many times we make her do things so that she gets over her fears. But, in this case I was glad she did not try something just because someone else was doing it. It also made me hurt to see how she struggled with not appearing brave enough to run into the sprinkler.

Nick mentioned the other day how he physically hurts with love for our kids. I never understood until actually having children how much parents want to protect their kids. I do not want to see them feel pain or get embarrassed, yet, this will happen in their lives and more than once. The pain and embarrassment are necessary to their growth. It helps them become the people they will be someday.

Which leads me to thinking about God as my Father. If I empathize with my children on every emotion, how much more does God feel for me in every thought? He knows my innermost pain and loves me because I am His child. Yet, He does not take away the pain because He knows it is necessary for who I am to become.

I pray that every time I feel that knot in my stomach when my children are hurt, it serves as a reminder to me of God's continuing providence and love over me, His little child.

A Boy and His Grandpa

Now that Caleb is starting to talk, I can finally share stories of the funny things he says. One of the humorous things he has started doing this week is singing "Old MacDonald Had a Farm." To be exact, the three of us start singing it and then, right on cue, Caleb bursts out with the "E-I-E-I-O" line. It makes us laugh, which leads him to laugh, which causes us to laugh even harder.

He also loves to make animal noises and play with his toy tractors. I'd like to think that this is all because of his grandpa's influence on him. Granted, these are all things most 20 month-old boys would be interested in, but I think it's fun to see this "city boy" son of mine enjoying the farming life.

Our most recent trip to visit my parents in PA was such a joy. Not only because it was a nice visit with family and friends, but because it was one of the first times Caleb seemed to really know where he was and was sad to leave. Watching him with my dad was one of my favorite parts of the visit. He always wanted to sit with him and follow him around. I'm pretty sure the highlight of Caleb's visit was riding the tractor with his grandpa.

Right before going to bed each night, Caleb likes to look at a picture we have of my dad and Abby that is our screensaver on our computer. He looks at it and says, "Ga Night, Papa" and waves to his grandpa. It makes me happy and breaks my heart all at the same time.

No matter the distance between Caleb and his "grandpa with the cows," they have a bond that I look forward to seeing grow with each year.

More Thoughts on Heaven

I just finished putting Abby to bed tonight and she brought up the Heaven subject again. What is ironic is that she can go the entire day without talking about these deep thoughts, but always has much to express right at bed time. One would think she doesn't want to go to sleep and she's stalling.

This time she asked me (since it was Nick she asked last time and she had to double check with her mom) where God is. I said in Heaven and that His son, Jesus, lives in our hearts. She looked at me as if this was impossible (a lot of adults have given me the same look when hearing this statement). I tried to explain it to the best of my ability, but finally said, "It's hard to understand, but just trust me."

After accepting this answer, she then went on to, "Where is Heaven?" I told her it is a place we can't get to until it's our time to go there. She asked if it was really high in the sky, to which I said, "Sort of." I read her next thoughts and immediately told her that even airplanes can't reach Heaven. She thought about that and then got really excited about her next idea...

"Mommy! Jaguars jump really high! I bet they can jump up and get us to Heaven!"

Thank you Go Diego Go and all the lessons about Baby Jaguar :)
(If you don't have toddlers who watch the show, trust me-they pay attention to everything about it.)

Finally, after some more discussion about Heaven and how we will live there forever someday, she ended with this last question: "When I go there, does that mean I can never go home again?"

It's not just the question that broke my heart, but the very concerned tone to which it was asked. I told her that everyone we know and love will be there, too, and it will be home to all of us.

In the midst of an exhausting day where all I was longing for was a shower and to finish some last minute things, my daughter stopped me in my tracks on what is important. These little desires for earthly things seem so important right now, but it is nothing compared to the longing we have deep inside us for something even greater-eternity with our Father.

Faith Like a Child

The other night Nick was putting Abby to bed and after finishing their bedtime prayer, they had a rather interesting conversation. She asked him, "Where is God?" Nick answered "In Heaven, but also in your heart." Of course this confused her greatly and she said, "But, I want to see Him! How do I see him if He's in my heart? How do I get in there?"

Good question. Sometimes it is so hard to keep believing when we are not physically seeing God. We rely on faith, which in itself is not the easiest thing to put our trust in. I used to think it would be so much easier to always trust God if I lived back in the Old Testament time, where God physically talked to His people. Yet, seeing the lack of faith in the Israelites even then is an example of how I really would have behaved. God continues to provide me with my daily "needs," yet I still continue to look for more.

Abby settled for the "You will see Him someday" answer and has not brought it up since. If I asked her right now about God, she would tell me everything she knows without a hint of doubt. Even though she has no idea where Heaven is, she knows God is there and she will join Him there someday. No wonder we are told to have faith like a child.

A Tribute to Nick

In the midst of focusing on my life as a stay at home mom and stories of the children, I need to take a moment and show my appreciation for my husband.

He wakes up early, teaches rich, high school students who think they know it all, and on occasion coaches random sports throughout the year. It is easy for me to forget that he is working hard all day because I can be so focused on my own tiredness from the kids. I have heard other moms say this as well. Many days I treat him like a relief pitcher who can start playing with the kids the second he comes home so that I can get back to my list of things to accomplish.

Some days he reminds me that I'm treating him like this, to which I completely deny.

But, most days, he accepts this role in his life, like today. He came home after finishing his final work for the school year, listened to a bunch of people talking at him all day, and instead of going away to be alone (which is what I would want), he sat down to play with the kids. Here are some of the phrases I heard from their conversations...

Abby: "Daddy! Daddy! You make Diego hide in the dollhouse, I'll count to ten and find him!"

Abby counts to ten. Caleb hears and joins in on his own version of counting, "One, Two, Ten!"

Caleb's climbing all over Nick and suddenly I hear from him, "Oh Caleb! What did you do in that diaper? Oh, that's awful! And now it's on my finger! Is it up your back? Where is this coming from? Did you get it on you feet? What did you do?"

Abby from the bathroom while Nick is changing the diaper, "Daddy! I pooped!"

What an amazing man to not only put up with this on a daily basis, but to love me as well. Six and a half years ago I never imagined it would be days like this that would strengthen my love for my husband. I'm blessed to be his bride.

A Funny Sentence

Last night Abby was getting dressed after her bath and pointed to her underwear and said, "This is my highness." She of course meant "privates," but her little three-year old mind thought all this time we were calling that area "her highness." No wonder she is so proud to run around naked all the time!