This coming weekend brings mixed emotions. July 10th is when we head up to camp to work as counselors (which is always a highlight of my year), but it is also our due date for our precious baby that we lost. While I spend my week getting everything caught up and ready for our departure, I am painfully reminded that I would have been readying myself for something quite different.
I know our child only existed here for a short time, but I still wonder what he or she would have been like. Would he have entered the world in a painful and adventurous way like Abby did or in a calm and prepared way that Caleb came? Would she have been as competitive as her older sister and brother (and father and mother) or would she have brought a sane balance to the family? Would he have resembled his siblings with the blond hair and blue eyes or have come with some random traits from distant relatives? Would she have been another daddy's little girl or would he have been another precious boy for his parents to love?
Someday we will meet this little one. I have no idea how it will be-will our baby still be a baby, or a child or perhaps a grown-up? No matter, for the comfort I have is right now, our baby is in the presence of Jesus which is where our longing ultimately is. We will be together someday. Our little family will be together with our Savior and all will be as it should be.