Uh, yep. I completely fell off the face of the blogging world, lately. Funny thing is, I have all of these thoughts swirling around in my head, with the continual thought of "I need to write about that" in the background.
Yet, here I sit, months later, attempting to remember all of those memorable moments that I found worthy of print. Now, where to start?
Today's post will be about me. Not my kids and their schedules, not my husband and his teaching/coaching life, not the dog and her need to chew things-but, just about me.
I have been feeling restless. The long winter has made me long for spring and the ability to stay outside for hours. This past weekend was amazing-soccer all day for two days and it reached the 80's. The 80's, people.
Today, there is snow on the ground. I really don't like Ohio sometimes.
It is more than the cold weather that is making me feel restless. I have been feeling this way about how I look. I have always felt pretty confident in who I am and try not to compare myself to other women (okay, so we all compare, but I really try not to do it often). Lately, though, I have felt my age and suddenly have realized I am not 22 anymore.
Yes, I have been married for 12 years and have 3 kids, but I still feel like I am still in college. Go ahead and laugh, people who are younger than me. Your time will come.
Well, the strand of gray hair that keeps appearing on the top of my head tells a different story. And the fact that every cookie or piece of bread (ah, bread) that I eat does NOT go away anymore, but permanently stays in my mid section is really quite frustrating. Do not even get me started on how much weight I gained after eating my yearly treat of Daffins chocolate.
It used to be that I could blame the extra padding on just having a baby, but now that my "baby" is 3 1/2 years old, I have to accept responsibility and change my routine. I can no longer eat what I want, I have to exercise consistently and I have to learn self-control.
Being a woman approaching her 40s is not all it is cracked up to be. Unless you are a celebrity and have a personal trainer and chef. Which I am not.
I now understand why so many of my friends are suddenly running marathons.
I am also trying to find balance. Ugh-even hearing my spoiled western self say I need "balance" makes me angry. Poor me-I have to balance my healthy children's sports schedules and homework while my loving husband works two jobs to provide for us. I have a job that I love that is flexible so that I do not miss the important things, yet I need to find balance.
Yep-never mind. I need to maintain the chaos. That sounds better.
So, this "cookie denying, exercising more, maintaining chaos" mom will have more thoughts coming your way soon.