The Kids

The Kids

Monday, February 21, 2011

Murphy's Law Of Children

"Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong."

Hmm.  Old Mr. Murphy (who whoever actually came up with this idea) clearly had children.

In light of my stage of life in which I take care of a six-year old, a four-year old and a four month old, I thought I would share my version of Murphy's Law for kids.

-If you have nowhere to go during the day, your child will not take a good nap.  If you do have plans, your child will take the longest nap in which you will have to wake him up and deal with the consequences.

-If your baby has not pooped in awhile, go ahead and put him in the highchair, exersaucer or anything that has him sitting up.  He will immediately let loose and it will go up his back.  Works every time.

-Wherever you place the burping cloth, your baby will choose the exact opposite side of your shoulder to spit up on.  This works especially well when you are wearing a nice shirt.

-If you have plans, your child will get sick that day. 

-As soon as you clean your carpet, your child will either wearing muddy shoes across it or throw up on it.

-You may have to drag your child out of bed every school morning, but come Saturday morning, he is right on cue, standing at the side of your bed, asking for breakfast.

-If your spouse happens to go out of town, your child will pick those nights to have nightmares, wet the bed and need numerous glasses of water (which he will inevitably spill on his sheets and complain of being wet).

-The more crabby your child is, the longer the line at the check-out line.

-Once you are in line for something, your child will pick the perfect moment to have a bathroom emergency.  It is usually once you have been in line long enough to not give up your spot, not quite near the front and stuck in the middle where you could not move even if you tried.

-The day you decide to mop your kitchen floor is the day your child decides to spill everything.

-The moment you place the phone to your ear, your child will immediately need you for something.  Siblings bring on the added bonus of fighting.

-If you want to have a private conversation with your spouse, your child will suddenly become super smart and catch what you did not want him to hear.  However, he will not hear you when you tell him to pick up his toys or do his homework.

-Your child will be perfectly content with what he is eating until he sees what you are eating.  You will then be asked, "Can I have that?" until you finally give in and learn to eat at a later time.

-You may have an entire house of rooms, but if you are trying to exercise, your child will pick that exact spot to play.

-While on a road trip, your child will need to use the bathroom exactly three miles past the rest stop.  While the other sibling is sound asleep.  And you are the only adult in the car.

-Your child may be compliant and sweet, but as soon as he is around your parents, he will disobey, talk back and act like he runs the show.

-If you are expecting company, your child will play with every single toy in the house that day.

-And, finally, once you have a child, your heart is no longer your own.

1 comment:

Amy D said...

This is an hilarious post, and I identify with way too many things on the list!!