I made a chocolate cake for Nick's birthday the other day. Abby helped me and kept checking on it throughout the day, just to make sure it was still on the kitchen counter. Shortly after waking from her afternoon nap, she checked on it again. Nick and I were in the living room, not really paying attention. I just happened to look over at her and she was just standing in the kitchen, staring straight ahead and looked like she was in pain. The following is our dialogue:
Me: "Abby, do you need to go to the potty?"
Me: "Does your belly hurt?"
Me: "Is that a little piece of chocolate on your face?"
Abby (nodding in tears): "Yes."
Once I figured out that she had stuck her finger in the cake to sneak a taste, I was about to discipline her, but she took care of that herself. She started crying, hard, and looked like her entire body hurt. She came to me and said, "I'm so sorry I sneaked, Mommy." At this point, I was almost laughing and trying to make her feel better, but she just kept sobbing.
She went over to Nick and said, "I hurt my own feelings." (How does one not laugh at this point?)
Where does this strong feeling of guilt come from? Sometimes she says she is sorry out of fear of punishment or even out of habit. But, in this case, she actually felt pain over her guilt.
I cannot remember the last time I actually felt this convicted of my sin. When was the last time I cried over my impatience, my attitude or my laziness? When have I wept over how I have treated others? How long has it been since I have fell on my knees in awe of the forgiveness that God has granted me?