The Kids

The Kids

Thursday, July 7, 2011

One Year

I will be at camp and absent of technology on the actual date, but our third child's due date was July 10th.  She (as we all had a feeling it was a girl) would have been one year old.  As I watch other friends with the same due date week celebrate their children's first birthdays, I am happy for them, but sad to think what might have been.

Things have gotten easier, especially with the joy of Noah.  But, there are days when it just hits me-we lost our baby.  It does not matter how long ago it happened-the pain is still real. 

Sometimes a song in church will make me think of her.  Especially the old hymns where the lyrics speak of our eternity in Heaven where there are no more tears.  Every time I hear "Your Hands," by JJ Heller, I burst into tears.  That song was constantly on the radio when we lost our baby.  It was like God gave those lyrics to the songwriter just for me.

I know that there is a purpose to everything and I am so fortunate to know the love of God.  And everytime I look at Noah, I cannot imagine life without him.  We have been so blessed with three amazing kids.  Yet, I still long for the day when I meet our fourth child in Heaven someday.  What a sweet reunion that will be.

In the meantime, my dear one-year old must be having a delightful time in the arms of Jesus.


Bev said...

Oh Tammy, this has caused tears to run down my face. I am so so glad you both have living faith in Christ and a hope and assurance of that reunion. I can't wait to see her too! Sometimes I think about my sisters who died and seeing them. What a loving Savior we have!

Anonymous said...

I can relate to your post on multiple levels, Tammy. As you know, Andy and your precious little one shared a due date... and Andy was my long-awaited pregnancy after losing our Baby Hope at 11 weeks. A cousin of mine delivered her baby on Hope's due date so I know what a bittersweet reminder it can be. Certain songs we sing at church bring it all back for me, too ("...the virgin sings her lullaby"). I'm so thankful that God has given us both healthy baby boys to ease the pain after so great a loss.


Jessica said...

I can relate as well. Blessed be the Name does it to me. When I found out I was losing our baby, the words "He gives and takes heart will chose to say Blessed be the name of the Lord!" came to mind instantly. Still makes me sob in church!