I will be at camp and absent of technology on the actual date, but our third child's due date was July 10th. She (as we all had a feeling it was a girl) would have been one year old. As I watch other friends with the same due date week celebrate their children's first birthdays, I am happy for them, but sad to think what might have been.
Things have gotten easier, especially with the joy of Noah. But, there are days when it just hits me-we lost our baby. It does not matter how long ago it happened-the pain is still real.
Sometimes a song in church will make me think of her. Especially the old hymns where the lyrics speak of our eternity in Heaven where there are no more tears. Every time I hear "Your Hands," by JJ Heller, I burst into tears. That song was constantly on the radio when we lost our baby. It was like God gave those lyrics to the songwriter just for me.
I know that there is a purpose to everything and I am so fortunate to know the love of God. And everytime I look at Noah, I cannot imagine life without him. We have been so blessed with three amazing kids. Yet, I still long for the day when I meet our fourth child in Heaven someday. What a sweet reunion that will be.
In the meantime, my dear one-year old must be having a delightful time in the arms of Jesus.