Silence

I noticed something the other day.  My life is almost completely void of silence.

Maybe when I am sleeping, it is quiet, but even then I keep the fan running on my face.

Even as I sit here in the early morning while everyone is still asleep, desperate for some quiet time, I can hear things constantly running.  The slight drip of the water running through the filter of the fish tank, the hum of the DVD player (which one of my lovely children must have left on), the furnace kicking on and off, the hum of the fridge, even the far off sound of a siren going down the road.

As I cleaned someone's house yesterday and realized that I had forgotten my Ipod (the horror!), I thought, "Well, at least I will have some time to just think."

Of course, then their smoke alarm started beeping and that plan was suddenly gone.

But, before the obnoxious reminder of needing a new battery broke my peace, it was kind of nice to clean and let my mind wander.  It wandered to the most random of places, but it was freeing.

How often in my day do I just let my mind relax and be quiet?  Not very much.  It is usually goes something like this...

What's on the lunch menu at school today?  Who has gym and needs tennis shoes?  Are their uniforms clean?  Do we need jackets today?  You still have homework to finish, Abby?!  Why won't Caleb get out of bed?  What does Nick have after school today?  Who is picking up the kids?  Did I put snacks in their backpacks?  Why did Noah get naked already?  Crap, I forgot to buy the right cereal that Caleb has been begging for.  Why is my dishwasher smelling funny every morning?  Did I put everything in my "run errands" bag for the morning?  Is Abby ready for her memory verse check?  Who has library books due today?

And that is just from 7:00-8:00 a.m.

Hence why I get up at 5:30 a.m. every day.

I suppose there is no way to stop the noise, but perhaps I could make the most of the time when I do get a glimpse of the quiet.  Perhaps not always have the radio on in the car, not turn the television on during nap time, not feel the need to check my email and facebook first thing in the morning...

In any retreat or conference that I have attended in the past, one of my favorite moments always tends to be when we are instructed to go out on our own and be quiet.  To just sit there and pray and listen to God.  Listen to Him?  Not just fill the time with me telling Him stuff? 

Interesting how I always felt refreshed after those moments.

If Jesus could take time out of his busy schedule of saving the world to step away and be alone with His father (which He did A LOT), then what the heck is my problem?  Are all of the things that I am doing with my time really so important that I never have time for being quiet?

My DVR of television shows and my many apps on my phone suggest otherwise.