The Kids

The Kids

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

What Stain?

I was so frustrated. Caleb was sitting on my lap at Nick's softball game and his grandma was letting him drink her iced tea. He kept spilling drops on one of my favorite t-shirts (last year's camp volunteer shirt) and I remember thinking, "I hope these stains come out."

Within ten minutes, that was no longer my concern.

While attending to Abby's skinned knee from falling on the pavement, I looked away from Caleb, who was quietly playing in the dirt near Nick's dugout. I suddenly heard some commotion around him and saw blood pouring out of his nose.

It was one of those moments where I could not get up and run fast enough.

I felt torn between hugging him and putting all of my concentration on pinching his nose. I heard something about a bat hitting him in the nose, but could not listen well enough for the details. All I know is that my heart was being pulled in a million directions and I could not figure out where to follow it first.

I heard adults offering advice on what to do, I had strangers from the other team handing me piles of baby wipes, I heard the man who accidently hit him apologizing over and over, I saw Abby standing around, looking concerned, I heard Nick run in from his stance at bat-it all just blended together while I focused on this little two-year old with a smashed nose.

We rushed him to Urgent Care and after a great toy in the lobby and a terrific lollipop, he calmed down enough for a quick exam. I stood with him through the x-rays, watching him trying to be brave (it is amazing what a child will do when told, "stand still and you can have anything you want at the store"). We found out it was broken and looked forward to seeing the ENT the next day.

What was finally an amusing part to this story was our quick stop at Meijer to buy the aforementioned bribery toy. Nick was covered in dirt from his game, along with some dried blood soaked into his shirt. Abby was holding her own in the filth department, after playing in the sand at the park. Her skinned knee was an additional bonus. I looked particularly lovely with blood covering my entire right shoulder in addition to random spots all over the rest of my top. And Caleb, poor little Caleb, with a black and blue nose, still some random spots of blood on his upper lip and a soaked shirt of blood and dirt.

Why they did not call the authorities on us I will never know. Then again, we do live in Clermont County. Maybe we did not stand out too much.

(Wow. I just sunk to the level of the people I judge for judging our county.)

Regardless, I did not care about the stain. People could stare all they wanted to. I was just grateful for the little boy who was thrilled with picking out whatever he wanted in the toy car section.

After talking to the ENT at Children's the next day, we heard good news that it might not be broken. After the swelling gradually goes down over the week, we will see the doctor again to determine if it is broken and what to do about it.

The pain that I felt when I saw him suffering was tremendous. Now I know why it is so exhausting to be a parent. My life is nothing compared to theirs. I would gladly take the pain of a broken nose (or whatever pain my kids will eventually go through) for them to not feel it.

Which got me to thinking about God's love for us. I always think of Jesus' love, knowing the sacrifice He gave, dying on the cross for my sins, so that I do not have to suffer the death I deserve. But, I tend to forget about the pain God must have had watching His Son suffer for others. His innocent Son, suffering and dying for people who will never fully understand.

It appears that my life is no longer my own. My heart stretches for these little ones who for some reason God thinks I can handle.


Teresa said...

Oh friend, I feel your pain. Lots of Blood is a different story than a broken bone. So sorry sweet Caleb! Feel better soon!

JMCOOPER said...

Having a child is like wearing your heart on the outside of your body. And as they get older and start leaving the house--for school, friends visits, overnights--little pieces of your heart leaves with them. It's a frightening yet beautiful process.

This must have been a tough day. I can totally relate as just recently Ainsley shattered her elbow and had to have surgery. Lots of unexpected firsts on that sunny Saturday. And making it through that 24 hours was not even a question in my mind. You just do it. Because it's your heart laying there on the table.

Once our ordeal was all done, cast on, child home safe, I still didn't breath easy. Four weeks of super careful watching. Then the day comes that the cast can finally come off and what do I do? Pass out cold in the doctor's office. Four weeks is a long time to hold it together! I tired my best! :-)