The Kids

The Kids

Sunday, October 23, 2011


For those parents thinking of having a third child.  Take a glimpse at my night of bathing my children.

I followed the boys up the stairs to their bathroom, pausing to catch Noah as he almost stumbled at the top step.  We went into the bathroom where Caleb promptly removed his pants to pee.  I grabbed Noah to keep him from touching the stream of urine, tripping over a stray bath toy that somehow left its home in the basket.  I took Noah out of the bathroom to change an extremely smelly diaper, leaving Caleb to start the bath water.  I returned to find Caleb just standing around, naked, with no bath water started.  Noah started to open the toilet lid so I placed the bath toy basket on top of it to keep it weighted down.  I leaned over the tub to start the water when I saw Caleb removing the basket because he had to pee again.

Sure, the kid has no problem wetting his pants when he is too busy placing Wii (ironic name of a game system given the current topic) to stop and use the bathroom.  But, in the chaos of three people in a small bathroom, he is all about going again.

Before I could stop him, Noah immediately reached his hand into the toilet.  The toilet that had yet to be flushed.  I ran his hand under water and put him into the tub.  I had finished bathing Noah and had just started on Caleb when I heard a cry from downstairs.  Apparently, Abby slipped on the steps and had fallen down.

Not wanting to leave Noah in the tub without my watchful eye, I quickly wrapped him up and went to inspect the damange.  After all, the girl currently has an ankle sprain so why not add a broken arm to it?  Abby was laying on the floor, crying just enough to get my attention, but at least it was not a serious injury.  I encouraged her to get up and come upstairs while I continued to hold a wet, naked Noah.

After getting Noah dressed and leaving him with Abby in her room, I finally finished bathing a then shivering Caleb.  I managed to get him into his room, just in time to remember that his sheets were in the dryer.  You know, because he wet the bed last night.

I took Noah from Abby so that she could start her bath.  Normally, she is the easy child who takes her own showers.  But, since her foot is currently wrapped up for her sprain, she needed a bath in which she could not get her foot wet.

Cue more chaos.  I kept Noah with me since I cannot trust him alone with Caleb and his tiny chokable toys.  While Abby kept her left leg over the side of the tub and I attempted to wash her thick hair with a cup, Noah took a toy and kept throwing it into the tub.  He would then scream to get it back, but then immediately throw it in again.  At one point, Caleb tried to come into the bathroom, left when I yelled at him to give Abby some privacy, but did not shut the door all of the way.  Next thing I knew, Noah was out the door and crawling toward the top of the stairs.  I raced over, grabbed him, just in time to stop him from tumbling headfirst down the stairs.

Miraculously, I finally finished bathing Abby, sent her on her way to get ready for bed, then settled down to relax Noah with a bottle.  That was when Nick returned to find our house a peaceful place.

If he only knew.

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