Lately, I have been toying with the idea of getting a job. It comes from this desire to help with our income. I have been watching Nick run himself in circles, working three jobs, just so that I can stay at home. And since the culture we live in pretty much requires two incomes to be able to feed a family of five, I figured I might have to give in.
Of course, the moment that I started thinking about it, I thought of someone else being with Noah all day and missing the summers with the kids and I immediately started to cry.
I was only talking with Nick about getting a job, but somehow Caleb must have overheard us. Out of the blue, he said to me the other day, "I don't want you to get a job, Mom." When I asked him why, he said, "Because I love you and Daddy the same."
It took a little questioning to realize that he meant that he loves the way our family works. He loves his dad working and coming home to him. He loves me being here. He also added, "If you had a job, who would be here with us?"
Okay, so getting a full time job is not in my near future, given my tears and my five-year old's guilt trip. In the meantime, though, I keep waiting for that dream job from home that I hear that other moms have. You know, the ones who work from home for a great company? Apparently, they exist. I just have not found them, yet.
I know it is a short time that the kids are this age and eventually we will become a two-income family again. But, sometimes, it is really hard to see that far down the road.